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The Forsaken (2001)

Directed and Written by J.S. Cardone

What is there not to like about vampires? Serious question, the trick being, trying not to think of things you’ve seen in movies. But it’s not like we have REAL references to relate to. Okay true, but more of the idea I suppose. When I think of a vampire some words that come to mind are sex appeal, brutality and the overall sense that what we are viewing are merciless killers who have come to raise hell. What has caught on in popularity however has been a trend of vampire movies made to entertain a sissy, sex appeal driven or worse, glittery persuasion that has it all backwards in my opinion.

Part of the reason that The Lost Boys was such a great film was due to Joel Schumacher in changing the original concept. Which would have had actual kid vampires since the film’s title was a reference to the same lost boys found in Peter Pan. Schumacher wanted to make a sexier more vicious vampire and reworked the film they way he had. The four vampires cast in The Lost Boys didn’t even have to try and play cool. Heck, they barely even spoke with the exception of Kiefer Sutherland.

The movie follows Sean (Kerr Smith) whose on his way to his sister’s wedding. As well in route to make a deliver that had a deadline. Though he gets a flat tire and falls short on cash, resulting in picking up a hitch hiker offering to pay for gas. Lucky for Sean the hiker also happens to be a vampire hunter and decides to save Sean’s life when he’s inadvertently bitten by someone who had just been bitten themselves. The only thing left to do being to put a end to the head vampire in hopes of ending this newly dreamt nightmare.

There were entirely too many points that I had issues with to even separate into their own paragraphs so pardon the tantrum I throw in this movies direction. Picking apart and speaking about this movie to its most basic thread will have you realize that for one it was rather apparent of John Carpenters Vampires, Blade and The Lost Boys influence over the film. It really turns me off when a film goes to the trouble to use references and have them disappoint beyond belief. There was also disappointing work from actors that I know are capable of better than portrayed.

Kerr Smith and Brendan Fehr are your heroes…you mean the gay guy from Dawson’s Creek and that alien dude? Yes, those exact two. I know how this will sound but Kerr Smith should have stuck to what he knows best, being the pretty guy. That’s been almost every role he’s done and he does it well. In fact, I could even see Smith doing more along the lines of a psychiatric thriller; he was all wrong in this one. Fehr, who I’ve enjoyed in seasons of Roswell doesn’t get as much attention but may be subjected to faulty casting. I think I see him more in Comedies. But they both got stuck in their roles because they were so good at becoming that character. Happens with a lot of celebrities that stay in a series for too long. How do you recover from a character that became so well-known? It’s an unfortunate hazard of being too good at your trait you could argue. Then you have the most recent vampire victim Fehr and Smith use as their tour guide played by Izabella Miko. I’m not all that sure I could even berate her performance since 1/3 was her naked, 1/3 was her silent and the other third she became this bad ass that emerged from nowhere. No sense you make.

At least the vampires are cool though right? Well, you have to kill them on hallow ground and lucky for them, come upon an old lady who just so HAPPENS to live on such. How fortunate for them. The vampires of which are not even scary. It begged the question of who would dare compare this gang of four to The Lost Boys. Besides the number fact, stating that it was the sexiest vampire movie since the former; really? Playing the head vampire was Johnathon Schaech and be it the highlights, the shrieking that was his telekinetic interaction with his day driver or the terrible eye make-up they adorned him with, there was hardly a convincing moment. He’s good at playing the typical prick and I don’t say that with any ill regard, there are certain actors that are just good at playing the “bad guys.” I was very fond of his performance in That Thing You Do and it mainly attributed to the fact that it didn’t seem a big stretch for him to turn out the jerk. Some actors have made careers out of doing it, stick to what you know I guess. But the prick vampire? Not working, sorry. Then to be paired with Phina Oruche, who’s that? Exactly. Oruche was what seemed a rather schizophrenic vampire being that she barely stayed in character…whatever the heck it was she was going for. One minute she’s the sexy vampire, I guess. The next she’s a rabbit animal when “sucking” the blood from a victim which she carried a gun for. I repeat, a gang of vampires is carrying guns. What the fuck do you need a gun for, vampire! If that is in fact your real name. Why would you ever write vampires needing guns? They are merciless creatures of the dark, they suck the blood from the living and live forever. It made me so disappointed as a fan to see. Especially when J.S. Cardone wrote Stepfather and 2008’s Prom Night and I know is capable of better. Back to Oruche, who looked more like a dog who hadn’t eaten in days merely licking her victims. But when it would come down to facing off she would act tough and crazy to then scream like a little bitch and cower when confronted. Last time I checked vampires didn’t do that either. The final “epic” battle of which involves Schaech singing a Metallica song could be missed if you blink too quickly. I believe it was not even a minute or two and everything ended rather abruptly. Then the actually ending involved the dynamic double leaving in hopes of taking out all the vampires in the world, YAY! *Anchorman jump in the air* -_-