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I’ll Always know what you did last Summer (2006)

Written by Michael Weiss Directed by Sylvain White

I knew this one would be grueling to get through. I guess I just never imagined how much so. Because at the end of the day I am a fan of film, with a heavier interest in the Horror genre. So I naturally root for films (in general) to be good. Despite preconceived notions, despite a trailer or cast attached; I simply want to enjoy good film. Even ‘bad’ films can hold some value of entertainment depending on what you’re willing to endure as the audience member. But folks, they can’t all be winners!

Falling victim to curiosity would be the only reason to come into this third installment. With clearly no one attached from the prior films, one can also imagine the same leniency handled with this script. Which really has no business even considering itself a part of the series since the fisherman had now evolved into an urban legend. At first only created as a means to prank some friends. Which obviously ends in a something going wrong, in this case someone ridiculously skateboarding off a building, resulting in an untimely demise. But it didn’t matter as to the who because there is zero character development and why would there need to be with a bunch of people who can hardly act at that. Though I digress. Hearing later from Amber (Brooke Nevin) how Zoe (Torrey DeVitto) constructed the story from an array of articles based on the fisherman’s last endeavors. Except according to an article shown, four teenagers died when he last attacked them for the second time in the Bahamas. When that wasn’t the version everyone else got seeing as how Ray (Freddie Prinze Jr.), Julie (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Karla (Brandy Norwood) do make it to the end where we once again close out the second film with the presumed nightmare; with Julie always attacked by Ben Willis. So they attempted to rework the story, no big deal-that happens. Only I found entirely too much entertainment from message boards arguing about the ending of the sequel and what four teenagers they could have possibly been talking about. Ultimately defeating the purpose of all the ‘work’ going into this plot-so now he haunts teenagers simply for the revenge factor? Not buying it, sorry.

What’s worse is that it ends up feeling like some film students final project because of all the unnecessary edits and ‘artistic’ touches spread throughout the entire film. Some films can get away with that. A perfect example being Spun by Jonas Akerlund, though his talent is undeniable regardless of the project. But really they belong in television or music videos for that short aspect otherwise they add confusion due to misunderstandings of them being indicators of something, when in this case they are not. It almost feels like you’re watching an alternate version of Scary Movie, that instead followed the events of the “I Know…” series. Cheap scares all around with flimsy acting following suit. The mere shenanigans from the fisherman now absurd as the decomposed body of Ben Willis had come back, but why. No seriously, why? This spirit or what have you now capable of even more ridicules things like manipulating moisture to write “I know what you did..” while Colby (David Paetkau) worked as a lifeguard. Defacing a bike, an unreasonable amount of pictures leading to an even more illogical mural which held less photos than what had even lead them to the room! But the fifty “threatening” texts was quite possibly the worst; maybe he accidentally sent a second one and from there thought, well now I’ve got to go way over the edge with this one.

I guess what I’m nicely beating around is the fact that this film was terrible. So terrible in fact that it hardly warrants words to justify. It took me almost four attempts before I was even able to sit through the film and once I had, I wasn’t even sure what I had just seen. A waste of time perhaps, but I feel for those involved most of all. An all too occurring trend in these days. Recycling something and putting “modern” twists on it or jumping through hoops to make a connection where not even needed! I wish I could even say the film gets a little better the second or third time around, though you do begin to see the humor in it. The ways in which he chose to show the emotions simply failed in the end and hopefully this now legend, can finally be laid to rest. You know, where he belongs.